6.11 Handling a Failed Embryo Transfer or Miscarriage: Compassion, Support & Next Steps

At GSHC Surrogacy, we know how much hope and anticipation goes into every embryo transfer. When a transfer doesn’t lead to pregnancy—or when a pregnancy ends in miscarriage—it can be heartbreaking for both the surrogate and the intended parents.

One thing we want to emphasize clearly:

Surrogates should never feel guilt, and intended parents should not feel blame.

IVF is a complex biological process. Even when everything is done right, outcomes are not guaranteed. A failed transfer or miscarriage is not caused by anything the surrogate did or didn’t do. While these moments can feel heavy, they are not the end. Many intended parents and surrogates go on to have successful pregnancies in future attempts.

1. Why Do Embryo Transfers Fail or Miscarriages Happen?

There are several possible reasons why a transfer doesn’t lead to a pregnancy or why a pregnancy ends early—many of which are out of anyone’s control.

Sometimes, the embryo itself simply doesn’t have the ability to grow. Embryo quality, even when tested and carefully selected, can still vary. Other times, the uterine lining might not be perfectly receptive, or hormonal levels may be slightly off. Chromosomal abnormalities are another common cause, especially in early losses. And in some cases, despite everything looking ideal, the outcome still isn’t what we hoped for.

Even when doctors investigate carefully, not every loss comes with a clear explanation—and that can be one of the hardest parts. But it’s important to remember that one failed attempt does not mean future attempts will fail too.

2. Processing Emotions & Offering Support

For many surrogates and intended parents, an unsuccessful cycle can bring a wave of emotions—grief, frustration, disappointment, even guilt. These feelings are real, and they deserve space.

As a surrogate, you’ve put your heart into this process. You’ve followed every step, every injection, every instruction—and done it all for someone else’s dream. That effort is never taken for granted. And if you’re feeling discouraged, know that your experience matters and your emotions are valid.

Intended parents, you may be grieving too. This journey asks so much from you—and it’s okay to feel the weight of a setback.

The most helpful thing in this moment is support. Lean on your GSHC case manager, connect with your counselor or community, and keep open communication. Sometimes, even a simple message between the surrogate and the intended parents can offer reassurance during a hard time.

3. Medical Follow-Up: What Comes Next

After a failed transfer or miscarriage, the clinic will likely schedule some follow-up testing to see if there are clues that can guide the next steps. This might include bloodwork to track hCG levels, hormone panels, or a uterine ultrasound. The fertility doctor may also review the embryo history and recommend small changes in medication or timing before trying again.

Every cycle teaches the team something. Even if the result isn’t what we hoped for, the information gained helps refine the plan for what’s next.

4. Moving Forward: Hope and Next Steps

Most surrogates who experience a failed transfer or early miscarriage go on to have successful pregnancies. A future cycle might involve changes like adjusting progesterone support, trying a different embryo, or retesting the uterine environment. Some clinics may suggest an ERA (endometrial receptivity analysis) or a different type of embryo transfer depending on the results of prior attempts.

This doesn’t mean something was wrong—it simply means the next try may be better tailored to give the embryo its best chance.

And when the time feels right—physically and emotionally—your team will be ready to support you again.

5. Caring for Yourself

Your emotional and physical health comes first. While the body usually recovers quickly, it’s important to follow any medical advice you’re given. Emotionally, you may need time—and that’s okay too.

Give yourself permission to rest. Stay connected with your support network. And if you’re ready to talk through what’s next, your GSHC case manager is always here to help.

A Final Word from GSHC

This part of the journey can be painful, but it does not define the whole path ahead. You are not alone, and this is not the end.

To our surrogates: you are appreciated more than words can express.

To our intended parents: your dream is still within reach.

At GSHC Surrogacy, we walk beside you—through each cycle, each challenge, and each moment of hope. We’re here to support you with compassion, clarity, and care.

Your story is still unfolding. And we’re here for every step.

Start Your Surrogacy Journey Today!

📩 Contact us now to learn more about becoming a surrogate mother and making a life-changing difference for intended parents!
📞 Call: 310-953-0137
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